“Me” – A Work in Progress" By Pat Edmondson Copyright December 2006 Housewife Mafia
You know the one, “I should quit smoking.”, “I need to lose weight.”,
“Why am I always running late.”, etc. Even if you don’t want to admit it, I know I often
hear my own voice (and other voices-but we won’t get into that) and not just every once in a
while, but several times daily.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten mad at myself for repeatedly doing
something I don’t want to do and know I shouldn't do.
Why do we do the things we don’t want to do?
How can we stop bad, self destructive habits for good, once and for all?
I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I’ve read many articles and books and
listened to some smart people talk about how they’ve changed bad habits for good. I also
tried many different approaches and while I’m still working on my bad habits, let me share
with you some things I’m doing for “Me”- A Work in Progress.
I had to decide what habit I wanted to change, that’s the first step.
Don’t try to quit smoking, lose weight and be more organized. I don’t know too many
people that could do that all at once. Since I’ve always struggled with my weight, and have
been over 100 pounds obese (hate that word!) for over 25 years. For several years I didn’t
want to deal with the weight issue, each New Year would come and go and just like my
weight, I would ignore the chance for a fresh start and continue with my bad habits.
However at the start of 2006 I was the heaviest I’d ever been, I was talking with a friend,
"Katie" and we were both dealing with weight issues, although she did not have the
“poundage” issues I did, she also recognized a need for a change.
My friend challenged both of us to be honest and accountable to each other,
we both confessed our weight and believe me that was hard for me-I don’t even own a
scale and only weight once a month at work or the doctor’s office.
So there Katie and I sat talking on the phone and I’d said it – it was out in the
airwaves. I could not deny anymore that I had a weight problem.
In the past even though I could admit I was a “little” overweight, it had not impacted me
physically, I had low blood pressure, low “bad” cholesterol and high “good” cholesterol and
ate fairly healthy foods. I also swam, walked and worked at in the Company gym, at least
one day a week. I was not having any physical symptoms, but that all changed this year.
I’ve been diagnosed with arthritis in my knee and hip and have had trouble walking up and
down stairs and doing day to day activities. I could not even carry a load of laundry
downstairs without pain and huffing and puffing. All this extra weight all these years has
taken its toll on my joints. My body is rebelling and I’m hearing it loud and clear. Obviously
I’ve got some good motivation to change my bad habits and create a lifetime of
good habits.
As Katie and I continued to talk she challenged me to be start being active just 15
minutes a day. I first thought, I’m active 15 minutes a day, but I was really “busy” not
consciously “active”. I started the next week - I had to mentally build up to it - and while at
first I didn’t do it every day I’ve tried to consciously make a habit of being active every 15
minutes. And surprise, I’ve found, once I drag myself off the couch, out of bed or out the
door, I’m active far more them 15 minutes. Marian Wright Edelman said “We must not, in
trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily
differences we can make which, over time, add up to big
differences that we often cannot foresee.”
Since February, when I finally weighed and measured myself, I’ve lost 39 pounds and
around 30 inches overall. I still have much more “poundage” to go, but I’ve taken the first
10,000 steps. The first step was to admit I wanted to change and deciding to
do something about it. I know, you’ve heard it all before and I have too, but this time it
clicked and stuck.
I had a good look in the mirror, which I had to go out and buy because I did not have a full
length mirror anywhere in my house. Denial you say? I know God and my family love me no
matter what, and I’ve learned to love and accept myself, but oes accepting our flaws mean
we continue to carry them around like dead weight “pun intended” and invite them in and
ask them to stay a few years? I have finally decided to kick the fat to the curb.
Has it been easy? No, I joined a health club with my teenage daughter and sometimes
she had to push me out the door to get to the club. I started lifting weights, did gardening
and when my knee didn’t hurt too much walked the dog. I also reduced portion sizes and
cut out white bread and sugar. The sugar was the hardest, and I still have not completely
eliminated it, but I’ve reduced the amount of sugary things I eat. I went cold turkey and had
sugar withdrawls for two weeks. I had to quit buying cookies and regular ice cream (a few
of my favorites things, “like raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens…” you know the rest”),
and I tried every kind of sugar free ice cream I could find.
I also had to start eating breakfast, I used to rush out to work and be starving by lunchtime.
Have I been perfect? No, there are times I eat something I shouldn’t and times I eat
too much. I’m still not exercising every day and there are days I don’t feel like it and no
amount of “self talk” will push me out the door. When I get down and start thinking I’m never
going to loose all this weight, a bad impersonation of Winston Churchill comes to my mind
(yes I hear voices) saying, “Failure is not an option.” I often repeat the mantra, “never give
up, never give up” Yes I have bad days, but I don’t beat myself up about it,
“I try to avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.”,
as Charlotte Bronte says (I don’t do an impersonation of her-in case you were wondering).
My minister at church always says “If you always do what you’ve always done, you
will always get what you’ve always gotten.” I’ve heard him say that 15-20 times and
although I thought they were wise words, never applied those thoughts to action. Well I’m
doing something different now.
Do my old habits creep back in, of course, but 20 plus years of old habits are hard to
change. I have admitted I have a problem, looked in the mirror, prayed to God for help,
tried some different things and I will never give up.
I reasonably expect it will take me two to three years to get to my ideal weight.
A reasonable 140 pounds for my 5 foot 4 inch frame. But I will not quit. The biggest
battle is mental (remember I hear voices), but I truly believe what Gil Atkinson says,
"If you're anticipating the worst while hoping for the best, you will
usually get the worst.
Turn it around: Visualize the best, anticipate the best, believe the
best - and you'll usually get the best."
Don’t we all have that
mental conversation
with ourselves at times…
We at HouseWifeMafia.com are wishing the very best!
May every pathway you choose lead to that which is pure and good and lovely.
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